Hello !
I’d like to share some of my story that still leaves me with tears and doubts, even if I think this person has reorientated his strategy to get “a better life” and western people are now safe with him.
If anyone has experienced anything with this person, please let me know. I hope to stop doubting with testimonies coming from another human being, as I can’t reach his scottish ex A.Z.S.
His name is Yossri (L)A****, originated from EL KRIB (close to KEF), then MANOUBA now living in BORJ CEDRIA (TUNIS). He has been working as an animator in a few hotels in HAMMAMET, shortly DJERBA and SOUSSE (EL KANTAOUI) areas, including CARRIBEAN WORLD and MARHABA PALACE, and been refered as DINO and LARRY. He’s won a few dance contests, included on a national level (true).
I met him on a Mother-Daughter 2 weeks trip to MARHABA, that is like home to me, last November.
He was new and tried to jump on me the very 1st minutes I appeared, but I sent him to “animate” my Mother saying that I was not interested to interact with anyone.
I know the animation team technique to reach the children that don’t care about them is often to go through the parents, as I witnessed it a 100 times with Midou and Momo at Marhaba, though I never ever thought about deep manipulation…
My very active mom participated everything with everyone, and she deeply bonded with Yossri. She got told hard stories, told me 10 times we were similar people but he was suffering and I should help him.
I stopped ignoring him 3 days before departure, and recieved a big bag of violence stories and tears, but also some values (some related to my own faith) and dreams that deeply spoke to me. Back then I already had been told by him that he’d been expecting to meet a person like me his whole life, that – just like me – he usually doesn’t get involved with people (that are mostly mean and selfish), and that he had observed me every day and liked me through my polite but distant attitude more and more each day. We shared a lot, we left him (behind his back as he said he wanted nothing from anyone) all the dinar we had as his life was tough, and after departure I felt like I had left my twin brother, that my soul was leaving behind almost half of it… Though, he was stressed and reluctant about his SM, and made a big cleanup before adding me, saying it had created useless pb with his ex and despite I told him I was not considering anything… yet though.
I started getting love bombed very quickly, and to cry aswell as he was asking me to consider a closer relationship. The level of empathy and fear to touch a hair of a delicate person who had gone through a lot was high. I had my experience too and told him openly I knew he had some personal work to do to recover or we would be at risk of even losing the nice bond we had.
We spoke for weeks, and my feelings were growing each day in his reassuring, kind and mature words. So, being asked each day, and honestly curious and missing him physically like 2 peas in a pod, I agreed to visit for the beggining of the year and booked a plane ticket, a few days of rest in the hotel, and left him in charge of an appartement for the rest of the days to TALK AND LIVE “LIKE A COUPLE WITHOUT BREAKING THE PHYSICAL DISTANCE” BEFORE BEING SURE, as he could not enter a guest room or being noticed as he had been seen with his ex previously and got in trouble. He asked his family and foreign friends to lend or give him the money he did not have to complete the payment, and asked from me only some help with groceries.
He was not happy about the hotel booking, saying that it would be painful to be apart, that he could not accept some guys trying to hit on me like some do, blabla.
What happened then : although I told him I needed time to decide, he went to airport with his brother with a big bouquet, he decorated my room with flowers, gifts, and ILY balloons with the complicity of reception (is that how you are discreet ?) and litteraly jumped on me once in… I told him I was not ready, he did not stop. So… after some minutes, I started crying a lot. We spoke and, in the meantime and un like what he said on the 1st talks, I actually made him confess that he had cheated once on his “beloved” (only heard sh** on her) ex, and that that ex story that had ages but he could not recover from when we met actually only had weeks……
I confronted everything, he apologized saying he was unexperienced and needing more guidance (I have more experience indeed), that he would not lie anymore, and then I’ve been very sick in bed for the rest of the stay.
In the meantime, seing my sad eyes, my tunisian mom who was worried for me confessed she had been told (but could not guarantee as it was not her eyes), that he had been seen at 6 am coming out of an elder room 2 weeks before we met the 1st time. I knew some women were regularly asking for sex against money, but he said he had always refused. She wanted me to keep my eyes open.
The rest of the stay, some things were cute, but at some point he did not respect my sleep cause he wanted more attention or to do things (I could not), and I got very angry. His “nice and kind” attitude started to drastically switch from there.
I left very heart broken and guilted, but still in a fog…
The blabla bonding speech kept on and on, and we organised a second trip to make sure what to do. This time I payed more, and chose a 2 bedrooms flat. To sum up, I felt smashed and bad treated, he pretended – as a hypersensitive like me – he was still in shock from the last time. Also the family who had agreed on the process tried to pressure me, despite the nice attentions. I left with the feeling that something was definitely off (out of the experience together). Maybe because I was not agreeing on the my house is your house plan (he’s building but missing funds and wanted to share expenses on the future, my plan was to buy my own for us aswell and live in the countryside if we’d marry) ??
At the same time, he completed exams to become a state agent and finally get a valuable job (as animators have no real long contracts fyi…). Despite his love blabla still going on, I noticed he became very materialistic and started to follow universities of Medecine in Tunisia. I also found out things happened the same with his ex, for instance he used a lot of observation and talked to her the last days on the 1st trip… but he was claiming to have social phobia…
It took me some weeks to understand the plot, and that he was changing his plans… One evening, it came quite clear, and I investigated his accounts. I found out he was following manipulation pages, and followed the likes. 1st of all, as an hypersensitive, let me tell you someone like me cannot stand even to listen to them and even less to watch, and that all those techniques he had use on both my Mother and me.
I told him to stop talking to me, he accused me of having paranoia and told the same to my mom. She warned me and I blocked all the communication canals, telling him that I’d send him to the Police if he kept botheting me or her… and, barely 3 days after…. me still crying a lot from the shock…. he was following at least 10 profiles of young female tunisian (that he said he hated of course, because interested…) doctors. I’ve always heard women were fast, but discribing himself as a higly sensitive person with social phobia ?!?!?
I am still devastated even I really see the good side : I saved my a**. I still dont know how to mourn and come back properly from – I guess – a mirage…. My mom neither :(.
Please, dont throw me stones. I know it’s my mistake and I have been naive, with the help of my mom only at the beggining.
Wish you all the Best…